The Little Crack Dealer That Could!
A coming of age story from the 'hood
first published eclectic enterprises 1995
by john cheney
the back cover:
Little Jimmy wants to be a bad ass gangsta' pimp.
It's the only thing that makes sense.
He hates the squares at school,
and what are his options?
Be a gangster or flip burgers.
What would your choice be?
Jimmy figures, "I aint livin' on no $5 an hour, working over-time in some greasy polyester fuckin' clothes just to make rent for some shithole apartment.
Fuck that noise.
Ill be a gangsta' drivin' by in a hot set of wheels, blasting some awesome bass,
with a pound of drugs in back and two big booty bitches beggin' for my dick in the front seat.
No job app, piss tests, polyester or ass kissing required. End of fucking debate.
This is an inspirational short story describes a 10 year old's quick witted rise to fame in the sordid world of drugs, bitches and rusty cars with awesome bass.
Get your little rug rat off the couch!
Let 'em read this, and they'll be hanging out on the street flashing gang signs, trying to make some green before you know it!
If the little rug rats really dig this story, make sure they also check out Iceberg Slim and Donald Goines.
Those two writers are a tad more adult than this story.
"Maaaaan!" Little Jimmy's mouth fell open as
he watched the Gangster drive by in the sleekest Cadillac in the world.
We're talking bass thumping, gold chrome, metallic flake paint job, solid
black interior, and two (yes, two) of the finest pieces of ass to ever
fit in a tight dress in the front seat with him. "I wants me a bad
ass Caddy just like that some day", Jimmy told himself as "Diamond"
(the rock man) drove on down the street, not even noticing Little Jimmy.
"That'll change", thought Jimmy, "Some day Diamond will
fall and I'll take over his game."
class="para_big1">Little Jimmy is only 10 years old, but like a concert
pianist, he already practices for his future trade. He's too young for
the crack trade, but he extorts, gambles and steals quite well. He has
a rep as the best wheeler and dealer in the 5th grade. Little Jimmy made
$50 and a free six pack by selling beer at the 4th of July parade last
summer. He talked a wino into buying him a couple cases of beer, and sold
the cans for two dollars each. People think it's cute to buy beer from
a little fast talking gangster kid. Jimmy has also been known to sell aspirin
to stupid white boys that wander in the neighborhood. He tells them that
he stole his Mother's Haldol. "Three dollars each, please."
Little Jimmy hasn't mastered the bitches yet. They act
like he's cute, then blow him off when some older brother comes along.
"That'll change", Little Jimmy reminds himself. He watched a
bunch of gang bangers fuck a junkie whore the other day. He tried to join
in but the older kids yelled at him to get the fuck out of there. Little
Jimmy waited until they all shot their load and left her in the alley.
He walked up and fondled the whore's ass. She whirled around and belted
him so hard he saw stars. Jimmy woke up in the alley later, alone. Little
Jimmy still has a few things to learn.
Little Jimmy wants to be a bad ass gansta' pimp. It's
the only thing that makes sense. He hates the squares at school, and what
are his options? Be a gangster or flip burgers. What would your choice
be? Jimmy figures, "I aint livin' on no $5 an hour, working overtime
in some greasy polyester fuckin' clothes just to make rent for some one
room shithole 'cause I can't afford nothin' else. Fuck that noise. I'll
be a gansta' drivin' by in a hot set of wheels, blasting some awesome bass,
with a pound of drugs in back and 2 big booty bitches beggin' for my dick
in the front seat. No job app, piss tests, polyester or ass kissing required.
End of fucking debate."
Jimmy was beating up a 2nd grader for his lunch money
one morning when a rusty old Caddy pulled up. An old junky hustler from
down the street stuck his head out the window.
"Hey, little Jimmy! C'mon to papa for a sec."
"Yo Slim. I'm gettin' my lunch money here."
"I'll give ya' more than you can beat out of that
little snot in a month. Get over here!"
Jimmy let go of the crying little wimp, and sauntered
over to the Caddy, "What's your line?"
"If you deliver something for me, $10 is yours"
"Ten! What kind of gansta' fool do you take me for?
Twenty dollars and you got a deal."
"You is a cold bargainin' little bastard, kid! I
like that. You got a deal, player. Here's the scene: I'll drop you off
in front of a house, you go to the back door, knock 4 times fast and hard,
wait a couple seconds, then knock twice. When the man lets you in, give
him this bag, take a bag from him, and hop right back in. Cool?"
"An don't get yer nose in the damned bag, dig? I'd
hate to have ta' pop a 10 year old for ripping my ass off."
"No sweat." Little Jimmy hopped in the car,
which was still pretty plush even in its decay. The doors and fenders rattled
as Old Junkie Slim blasted the Geto Boys.
"Damned", Jimmy declared, "Caddies is just
"How's that, Junior?"
"Even a worn out, trashy one can feel pretty damned
"Slim laughed at first, then realized the insult
to his wheels. "TRASHY?! You want this job or not little boy! These
wheels is the best I can do right now, which is a damned sight better than
that beat up fuckin' Walmart bicycle I see you toolin' around on, dig?"
"SHiiiit, when I'm your age, I'll have a new ragtop,
gold spoke hubcaps, gold trim, and two big booty bitches to go with it!"
"You're a little young for that, short shit. Don't
get your hopes too high."
"Fuck You, loser!", Little Jimmy thought to
himself. They drove under the highway to a little 'hood on the West side.
Old Junkie Slim parked the car and pointed to an old house. At least they're
not dealing out of some fuckin' boarded up place, Jimmy thought. Old Junkie
Slim handed the bag to Little Jimmy, it was a crumpled brown lunch bag
probably with a wad of cash in it.
"Go to the back. Knock four times. Stop. Knock 2
times. Follow the alley downhill to the next street when you done. Got
"No sweat (you old fart)" Little Jimmy jumped
out, sauntered around back, and quickly looked in the bag. There was a
roll of what must be a few hundred dollars in it. Jimmy peeled off a $50
bill, stuck it in a secret hole in his Raiders jacket, tossed the roll
back in the bag, rapped the magic rap on the door, it opened a little,
and a gnarly scarred, tattooed arm stuck out a little bit. Jimmy handed
the bag over and the door closed - no conversation. Jimmy waited. About
10 minutes later, the same arm stuck out with the same bag, Jimmy grabbed
the bag, and walked to a somewhat secluded spot in the back yard. He peaked
into the bag - now it was half full of small vials. Jimmy grabbed two and
stuffed them into his coat before walking down to the other street. Slim
drove by in a matter of seconds, and they were off.
"The bag." Little Jimmy handed it over. Slim
glanced in as he drove along."Cool, brother."Jimmy sighed a sigh
a relief to himself, and tried to stay cool as they rode along. Slim dropped
Jimmy off in his 'hood, paid him $20, and drove off. Little Jimmy ran to
a safe spot - the shed in his parent's back yard, and counted his booty
- 2 vials of either smack or coke and $70. Not bad for an afternoon's work!
A quick taste of the powder told him it was coke. Killer! the easiest stuff
Within an hour, Jimmy unloaded the vials for $30 each,
and had $130! DAMN! No wonder the older guys play these gangster games!
Jimmy bought new Nikes and a bag of pot, then stashed the rest of his cash.Jimmy
decided to play cool with Slim and not avoid or act suspicious around him,
even though he knew the old junkie would be pissed.
Sure enough, Jimmy was hanging out in front of the corner
store the next day, enjoying a hard earned ice cream sandwich when Slim
skidded to a halt at the curb. Little Jimmy waved to him. "Yo, brother!
"Hey, you piss ass connin' little shit, get in here!"
Slim opened the passenger door from inside.Jimmy slid in the front seat.
"D' ya' want to do another run?"
"NO! My ass was ripped off yesterday. We gotta to
"Shit, Slim, those brothers in the house didn't say
nothin' to me. They just took the bag, then made me wait outside 'til they
opened the door a crack and stuffed it back in my hand. I don't know nothin'
more than that.
"You didn't dip your little gansta' fingers in the
"Hell, no! The less I knows the better." Jimmy
smiled to himself because he was smart enough to not wear his new Nikes
"YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T FUCK WITH THE BAG? Don't play
me for a fool, boy!"
"I'm fuckin' sure! I wouldn't rip off an OG, I gotta
learn from you guys and I aint goin' to learn much off a bunch of pissed
off pros, you dig?"
"Yeah .." Slim gloated over the label "OG"
- people usually called him "old junkie" or "drooling idiot",
which aren't as romantic as "Original Gangster". "Those
brothers didn't say nothin' to you?"
"Not a single word. I never saw no one except a big
hairy nasty arm stickin' out the door." Slim thought about this for
"OK shorty, I want you to help me burn those fuckers.
They shorted me a good bill's worth of shit. Those fuckers think just because
they is Diamond's boys that they can play on anyone they fucking want.
I'll change their mind on that attitude. No one rips off "Old Junkie
Slim" and gets away with it! That is Diamond's operation over there,
in case you didn't know. We gotta be smooth 'cause they probably got a
butt load fire power in there.... Robbing that house would be stupid. I
got an idea! Let's do a drive-by!"
"YEAH!!" Jim was genuinely enthused about this
- his first drive-by!
"All right short stuff, I gotta find another brother
or two and a couple boss guns. Meet me by the corner store at 10:00 PM,
"I'll be there. I gotta split. Ten sharp?" (Slim
nodded his head yes) Little Jimmy swung out of the car, and walked down
a near alley. He didn't need to go anywhere - just to think. As much fun
as a drive-by would be, Jim could double cross Slim by going to Diamond,
score points with Diamond, keep his loot and still have the trust of that
old fool Slim.On the next street, Jim ran into a streak of luck. T-Dog,
one of Diamond's top men, was sitting in a sharp Caddy next to Homeboy
Liquors. Jim walked up to the car.
"Yo, T-Dog! I gotta talk to Diamond pronto!"
T-Dog laughed, "You's a little young to be hookin'
up with the Diamond, kid. Go steal some lunch money, or somethin"
T-Dog, and two other mean lookin' gangsters in the car laughed.
Jimmy persisted, "I'm tryin' to do Diamond a favor,
man! There's a drive-by goin' down later on one of Diamond's houses. I
figure he wants to know."
"No shit? How's your skinny little ass hip to this?"
"Don't you never mind about that. Let me see Diamond."
"Check yourself for a second. I'll call the man."
T-Dog dialed a number on his car phone. "D. It's T. I gotta kid here
that wants to talk to you. He's spewin' some shit about a drive-by goin'
down tonight aimed at us." T-Dog listened for a minute. "Ten
minutes at the house on Randal. Later."T-Dog turned to Jimmy, "Hop
in G. We goin' to Diamond's right now."
Little Jimmy jumped in the back seat next to a huge, mean
looking gangster with red eyes. He held a mostly empty 40 ounce of Colt
45. A bag with four or five more Colts sat at his feet. Jimmy admired the
car - much nicer than Slim's rusted glory. Little Jimmy watched a couple
drunks yell at each other as the car eased into traffic.
"Short stuff", he heard behind him.Jimmy turned
around to see the other guy in the back seat holding a lit joint out to
him. "Short stuff, - is you too young for this shit?"
"Fuck No", Jimmy tried to sound nonchalant and
look cool as he sucked a big hit off the joint. The smoke was too much!
He coughed uncontrollably to wails of laughter from the rest of the car.
Jimmy chilled out as soon as he could, his eyes watery and his throat burning.
The car pulled down an alley and parked in the backyard of a house. They
all piled out and headed for the back door.T-Dog led Jimmy upstairs and
knocked on a door. A beautiful big booty bitch opened the door - in the
nude! Little Jimmy recognized her, but he couldn't let on that he knew
her. He hid in some bushes and watched her turn tricks in the park a few
days ago. T-dog didn't pay her any mind, but Jimmy sure stared!
"Damn! I want me about three of her when I get older",
thought Little Jimmy. She walked across the room, her ass wobbling slightly,
and sunk that round ass in a plush couch. Jimmy looked around the room
- damn. The carpet was a thick, dark red, the walls were covered by thick
fabrics, thick cushions laid here and there on the floor, and a few pieces
of plush furniture made the room feel like a harem tent. Diamond sat in
a big recliner, another beautiful naked crack whore sucked on his dick
as he sat back, eyeing Little Jimmy.
"So, short stuff, I hear you got a message for me."
Diamond's voice was very relaxed, presumably because of the slow, deluxe
blow job his bitch was delivering.
"Uh .. Oh, yeah. An old player named Junkie Slim
plans to rattle your house over on the West side tonight. He says it's
'cause the house ripped him off a couple days ago. It'll go down tonight
some time after Ten O'clock."
"RIPPED JUNKIE SLIM OFF! Whhyyy, that old drooling
fart probably shot the shit up and forgot about it. On the other hand,
I better not find out my homeboy is scamming people over there. I made
my rep by delivering goods proper. If my homeboy ripped him off, I'll personally
pour white paint over the punk's head and tie him to a tree in front of
that house tonight. If my homeboy is straight up - Old Junkie Slim will
regret taking his little drive tonight.
"Diamond reached for his cellular, dialed a number,
and waited. "Yo, it's Diamond. Put Beano on the other phone. I want
you both in on this." Diamond waited. Jimmy and T-Dog watched Diamond
on the phone. Diamond's bitch was sucking his balls now, making Diamond
grunt a little. "Beano. I hear you ripped off that funky ass old Junkie
Slim a couple days ago." Diamond listened for a couple minutes. "You
SURE about that." Another pause, "Is that right Jack? Well, for
some reason that jackass is looking to pop you right now. Lay low, but
stay there. I'll call back." Diamond looked back at Little Jimmy.
"I don't know how your homeboy Slim gets off feelin'
ripped off. My enforcer watched Beano count Slim's roll Tuesday, and it
was $50 short. Slim got what he paid for. You tight with that ole' junkie?"
"He talks to me."
"You sure 'bout this drive-by plan?"
"He asked me to ride with him."
Diamond stared at Jimmy for minute, not even moaning as
his favorite bitch started licking up and down his cock, just a little
hint of a smile. "Well, Jimmy - it be like this. Don't ride with Slim
tonight - it might be Slim's last ride. If you're tellin' it straight,
and not playin' some school yard gossip on my ass, I'll make worth your
while to have clued me in. "Junior G", I might even let this
hot bitch here suck you off or some shit.
"Jimmy's heart jumped at that one! He'd love nothing
more than getting his rocks off and learning a few things from the hottest
whore in the 'hood! It wasn't lost on Jimmy that Diamond called him "Junior
G". Jimmy liked that. It beats the hell out of "short-stuff",
"little shit", or what they called him in the car, "lung
"T-Dog, do you know how to find Junior G here if
I wanna see him tomorrow?"
Before T-Dog could say anything, Jimmy chimed in, "School
143 about 3:00 or the corner store at 25th & Keystone most any time."
T-Dog smiled, "Now I knows, boss."
"Straight on. Get junior outta here. We got a couple
plans to make."
"Straight on. C'mon G." T-Dog dropped Jimmy
off at a subway stop, and Jimmy rode away from the 'hood to a friend's
pad for the night.Little Jimmy woke up the next day anxious to know what
happened. He skipped school as usual, and hung out around the corner store.
It was noon, the homeboys on the corner didn't know shit about the drive-by
and T-Dog aint shown his face at Homeboy Liquor yet. Jimmy was going nuts
to know what went down! Just then T-Dog rounded the corner in his Caddy.
Jimmy waited 'til he parked and nonchalantly ambled over to the driver's
"What's up, T-Dog?".
T-Dog leaned his head out the window, "If they was
sellin' stock on your street credibility, yours just fuckin' doubled. Diamond
is mighty impressed with your scrawny lil' ass, Junior. Slim drove by last
night about 10:30 with a carload of packin' fools. We opened fire on the
fuckers from across the street an' they hit a parked truck trying to get
the fuck out of there. Half of them was killed when they hit the truck."
Jimmy couldn't believe his ears. He's a hero! "Diamond wants to talk
to you G, hop in the other side"
Jimmy and T-Dog rode around town to another house Jimmy
had never seen before, and cruised in. Diamond was elated. He decided to
call Jimmy "Junior G" from now on, and offered him $100 as a
combination reward and payment to keep his mouth shut. To Diamond's surprise,
Junior G asked for $100 worth of rock instead of cash. Diamond figured,
After T-Dog dropped him off, Junior G ran back to the
shed in his backyard. Now he was set! Junior G was the youngest kid on
the block with rock. He damned near had a monopoly in the grade school.
He sold all his rock in 2 days and approached T-Dog with $200 for more.
T-dog and Diamond were so impressed that they gave Junior G $500 worth
of rock, the $300 balance due in a week. Junior built up his clientele
like a pro, and started rolling in a respectable flow of cash.
Junior G found serious trouble about a month later. He
shot an old junkie who was trying to rip him off. Junior's mother cried
out, "Little Jimmy could never be mixed up in that. He's such a good
kid!". The newspaper called it "another drug related shooting".
Junior was tried as an adult and sent to the penitentiary.
He sold drugs in prison, too, and was protected by a couple older brothers
from his 'hood. One of the older brothers was released before Jimmy, and
told everyone in the 'hood about the fast talking, drug dealing firecracker
they called Junior G.They let Junior G out of prison one day with no warning.
He felt like Little Jimmy again standing on the outside for the first time
in 3 years. He didn't have more than $5 in the world, was tired, horny,
and out of touch with everything in the 'hood. He sat on the curb and thought
for a minute. He survived a stay in the pen for a murder rap and knew some
of the big players in the 'hood - not bad for a 13 year old!
Junior G pulled himself together, and walked straight
from prison to a neighborhood bar. He ran into T-Dog there. T-Dog clued
Junior G in on how solid his rep was. The 'hood thinks he's a slick, murderous
young buck willing to cross anyone. Junior G was the youngest killer in
the 'hood! T-Dog also clued Junior G in on the story of Diamond's downfall.
Basically, Diamond was set up by a snitch, and was busted as he tried to
buy a big bag in Detroit.T-Dog was pimpin' now days and scored his drugs
from a cat called "Boom Baby", who took over two crack houses
Diamond used to run. T- Dog pointed Boom Baby out to Junior G as he walked
in the bar.T- Dog smelled trouble after Junior G started eyeing Boom Baby,
and took off to "check on the bitches". After T-Dog left, Junior
G sauntered over to the bar near Boom Baby.
"Boom Baby! Come over and let a player buy you a
Boom walked over - warily. "Why?"
"I'm Junior G. I just walked out of the pen today.
I heard you were a player in the hood, an' figured I'd introduce myself
Boom seemed a little taken back, "So Junior G. wants
to buy me a drink. Make it a rum and coke, player."
Junior G spent his last $5 on two drinks, and spun a few
tales to Boom about prison, and a couple high quantity dealers he met who
are out now. Junior made himself look like a sucker ready to give out a
bunch of good names, but wouldn't do it in a bar with people around. Junior
G played that he had an errand to run, and agreed to meet Boom in the alley
behind the bar in an hour.
Junior G spun out of there and walked over a few blocks
towards "Gansta Pawn and Loan". He walked past a nice Trans Am
with a big cd carrying case on front seat. What fucking luck! Junior G.
grabbed a rock, broke the window, and ran off with the case as fast as
his skinny legs could take him. The cd's were all a bunch of heavy metal
shit Junior G didn't give a shit about, so he traded them all to Gansta
Pawn and Loan for a pistol and a box of ammo. Junior G headed back to the
bar.Junior G walked behind the bar and found Boom Baby there, standing
next to his car, pissing on the wall. Junior G didn't say a word. He shot
Boom, and laughed as Boom's headless corpse twisted around, pissing all
over the alley before falling on the ground.Nice of Boom to leave the car
running. Junior G jumped in, and sped the hell out of town to Chicago where
he knew he could unload the car. He found a nice surprise under the seat
on the way to the windy city, a couple ounces of rock!
Two days later, Junior G drove back to his hood in an
old Black Torino. It wasn't much, but the hubcaps and stereo were boss,
and the thing seemed to run well. To make a long story short, Junior G
unloaded the rock he already had, and made connections for more. He took
over Boom Baby's game with ease. Everyone in the 'hood acts like Junior
G's friend now. He survived the pen, has some boss wheels, and everyone
knows he iced at least one person. Most of the gansta's guessed who shot
Boom Baby, and treat Junior G with respect because of that, too. Junior
G has to laugh. He's set up nice only a couple weeks out of the pen!
Most suckers his age trudge off to the Junior High School
every morning. Junior G is usually up, too, still up from the night before,
so coked out he can't see straight, getting his cock sucked by his favorite
crack whore. Junior G is definitely at the top of the heap.
Someone even spray painted a tribute to him on a house
down the street. It reads:
I bet you know Junior G,
that mean little gansta'rockin' in the 'hood.
He used to be Little Jimmy,
the little crack dealer that could.