Another Heathen World Exclusive...
Jim Morrison is Alive!

We've done it again! The Heathen World first found Elvis Presley alive and drunk in the obscure "Shady Frog" trailer park North of Memphis. Now we have the exclusive scoop that Jim Morrison is Alive!! He lives in the San Francisco Heights Mission District mental hospital.
Jim Morrison
The patient known as "Lizard" revealed that he is Jim Morrison during a recent therapy session. He explained that in the sixties his numerous illigetimate children, drug habits and drug induced impotence led to a nervous breakdown, so he moved to Brazil. He dressed like a transvestite and sold opium in Rio's Red Light district until recently. His therapist, "Wheatgrass", didn't believe him at first. Lizard even exposed himself and babbled about Governor Reagan's evil anti hippie politics, but Wheatgrass remained doubtful.
Lizard's hospital records describe him as "..a manic depressive, drooling patient with a habit of gobbling handfuls of drugs and exposing himself before puking and passing out. He is usually harmless. He has been caught on numerous occasions trying to smoke banana peels, lint, and assorted trash in homemade marijuana pipes. He seems to worship MTV and the Aldus Huxley novel "Doors of Perception."
Wheatgrass, a former flower child who once saw the Doors at the Filmore West, remained unconvinced about her famous patient's identity until the ward's karaoke night last week. After hearing Lizard scream out his hit "L.A. Woman" over the music of "Born to Be Wild", Wheatgrass dropped her joint, and knew in her heart that her patient Lizard is actually Jim Morrison! It was a cosmic and groovy shock to see the former rock star alive! Wheatgrass was blown away by the heavy reality trip. She immediately called the Heathen World and sold us the story for thousands of dollars because of our renown journalistic integrity.
Lizard laid this song onto Wheatgrass as a Summer Solstice present. The Age of Aquarius has faded, but here it is.. the first song written by Jim Morrison in over 25 years!
Celebration of the Lizard Slob
(by Jim Morrison)

I am the Lizard Slob! I can do anything!
I am the Wing King! I can eat anything!
.. drooling helplessly in my old leather pants.
I'm breaking on through ...the backside!
odds are 5 to 1 ..I was the one that farted.
I'm the back door man!
Rock stars are the best!
Jimmy, Janis, and me!
We were all great in our prime!
Now we smell pretty bad!
The 60's were cool, man!

I'm Jim Morrison. I am alive!
Hello, I love me!
The sheriff whispered "Peace Frog"
to the L.A. woman in my head.
I loved her madly..
I thought I shot the sheriff
but it turned out to be my pillow.
I guess I was stoned.

I remembered I was still alive in 1987.
I bought an inflatable hippie love doll
with a happy stoned look on her face,
love beads, long straight hair,
and an easy to clean twat.
She yelled "touch me!"
at my crawling king snake.
.. flashbacks lit my fire!
Bing. Boing. Bong hit. BONE!
Oh, Lordy!
Tell all the People!
I was the wishful, sinful, wild child,
unknown stoner riding through the storm
Wino with a woodie!
THAT'S ME! The Lizard Slob!
C'mon, why don't you all come up on the stage and love me?
the 60's were cool, man!

Chewing brown acid, buying lids of pot,
Smoking banana peels..
People are strange.
Party against the war!
Tim Leary said it well
Turn on, turn around, pass out.
I confess before the soft parade..
I wish I was still in art school.

The ceremony will begin
I admit, I am the Wing King! .. the Lizard Slob! ..
..the dead hippie!
The 60's were cool, man!
Death tongue slithers up my sweaty crack
As I try to concentrate.
Woos of awe from those cute hippie girls..
..drives my brain to
uh.. hmm.. lost my train of thought there
I'm a rock star! Look at my dick! Where are the drugs?
The 60's were cool, man!

Jimmy, Janis, and me!
We were all great in our prime!
Now we smell pretty bad!
The 60's were cool, man!

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